A hook instead

I accidentally dropped a spoon into my sink’s garbage disposal this week, but I didn’t want to get it out because I was terrified.

I tried to just grind up the spoon in the garbage disposal at first, but that didn’t work. I would have left the spoon there but the garbage disposal made horrible sounds whenever it was on.

My disposal turns on and off with a switch, but that is all I know about the machine. So, when I reached in to get the spoon, I tried to remember if the disposal ever self-cleaned or turned on automatically.

I thought about what I would do if the blades turned on when I reached in to get the spoon. Maybe if I made my hand into a fist I would be better protected, I thought.

But I didn’t feel safe once I got the spoon out because I thought I might accidentally turn on the garbage disposal and trip and somehow shove my hand into the sink.

I also didn’t think until then about how I could have used tongs instead of my hand to get out the spoon.

If my hand was severed in a garbage disposal, however, there would be advantages. Having a hook or bionic hand would obviously be great, but, also, who would ever want to challenge someone whose hand had been severed in a garbage disposal?

I wouldn’t.

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Your hobby

People with hobbies should stop calling themselves addicts and junkies, because their commitment to those activities is not comparable to someone’s physical dependence on drugs.

“I’m a total adrenaline junkie,” someone who likes skydiving might say.

“I’m a complete film addict,” someone who likes movies might say.

“I’m such a chocolate junkie,” an overweight person will tell you.

Stop saying that. The feelings you experience during your favorite activity are not interchangeable with the effects of heroin.

To see why, try putting the comparison into a different context.

“Hey,” someone in this context would say, “do you want to go running with me today?”

“I don’t know,” you would say. “I’ll think about it.”

“What do you mean?” the person would say. “Running is like injecting a powerful narcotic directly into your veins.”

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Northwest Territory

This is The Northwest Territory.

“Oh, that’s only a secondary fear. The real fear is a fear of what caused the apparition. And that fear doesn’t go away. I have it fairly powerfully inside me right now.”
-Franz Kafka