A Tuesday evening.
Stacy: Is there something you need, babe?
Ryan: No, just thinking.
Stacy: Thinking about what?
Ryan: What?
Stacy: What you thinking?
Ryan: Oh, you know.
Stacy: What?
Ryan: Nothing.
Stacy: Come on.
Ryan: Well, you know how we’ve been wanting to try out some new stuff or whatever?
Stacy: Oh yeah, like, with sex you mean?
Ryan: Yeah.
Stacy: What were you thinking?
Ryan: Eh, I don’t know. It’s not something I want to do do. It’s just something I heard about.
Stacy: From who?
Ryan: Well, I heard about it from people before, but not from a specific person.
Stacy: Uh-huh, that’s cool.
Ryan: It was from a website.
Stacy: That’s OK, I told you I didn’t mind if you looked at that. I don’t get jealous or anything.
Ryan: I know.
Stacy: Wait, is it that tongue thing you asked about?
Ryan: What? Oh. No, no. Uh, that was…
Stacy: Don’t be embarrassed.
Ryan: I didn’t, I mean, I’m not.
Stacy: OK, well –
Ryan: –Well, I saw on this website about how sometimes couples bring other stuff into the bedroom. Like, other, you know.
Stacy: Like, toys?
Ryan: No.
Stacy: Oh. Ohhhh. I don’t know how I feel about a threesome. Like, I’m not into girls and don’t say I am because I’m not. Sorry, sorry. You were trying to be open. Is it something I’m not doing or… I don’t know. I mean, we can talk about it.
Ryan: It’s not a chick.
Stacy: What?
Ryan: No.
Stacy: Oh, I didn’t think you would want to bring in another guy. Honestly, I think I’d feel more comfortable with a woman, not that I wouldn’t try that. I mean, I don’t think I would, but, hey, it’s 2007. That’s stupid. Sorry. Anyway, is it one of your friends? I am not fucking one of your friends.
Ryan: No. It’s…OK, look, I’m not saying I want to do this, I just thought it was one of those ideas that might get something else going. Like, I saw on this website, the one that I was talking about, that sometimes couples try it with animals or whatever and –
Stacy: Animals?
Ryan: Yeah, I mean. I’m sorry. Sorry. No, it’s not that I want that. I mean, like, what do you think?
Stacy: Are you serious?
Ryan: Serious?
Stacy: Are you serious about having a threesome with an animal?
Ryan: Am I?
Stacy: Yes.
Ryan: No. Did I say that?
Stacy: No, but I can tell you want to. Oh my god.
Ryan: No I didn’t!
Stacy: Ugh.
Ryan: Baby.
Stacy: What kind of animal?
Ryan: What?
Stacy: What kind of animal would you want to have a threesome with?
Ryan: I’ve seen people do it with llamas.
Stacy: Llamas? How would that even work?
Ryan: I think you could do it a couple different ways.
Stacy: Like?
Ryan: Like the llama on one of the ends or in the middle. Like, the chick could be getting it from the llama and the dude would be giving it to the llama.
Stacy: Oh.
Ryan: Or the llama could just watch.
Stacy: Uhhh…
Ryan: I’m sorry.
Stacy: OK, let’s try it.
Ryan: All right.
Stacy: How are we going to get a llama, though?
Ryan: I know a guy.
