Cocksuck

Laugh

I was listening to a sound recording on which I was, at the time, in a professional situation. Because of this, I was also doing my best to act like I was a person who was amused by jokes delivered in the room. “Ha,” I said. “Ha ha ha ha haaaa,” I said.

Point being, the sound of your own insincere laugh destroys all the pet fancies you’ve allowed yourself to think about yourself since age 14. “I’m alright, ” you even thought.

But once you hear that laugh. Shit.

“Fuck,” you then begin suspect. “Maybe I am a douche bag.”

Why?

Because that’s the laugh of “that guy”. He’s the conference room cocksuck.

Birds

I respect someone who can, I’ll say it, multi-task. While there’s better words, it’s true, for this skill, like “secretary”, it’s something I can’t do because I’m too slow or methodical.

Or dedicated?

Anyway, multi-task if you want, synergize if you must, but please never “kill two birds with one stone”.

When was this phrase relevant to a society? When was it that bird hunting was used to relate complicated ideas?

“You see, Togg,” an elder caveman might say to his son. “If you want to be lead clubman, you must please hunting party and tribe councilmen. And soon. You have to… how I put his … kill two birds with one stone.”