Biooo

I wrote this bio, brief they requested (and nothing too, you know, they said making a gesture), for a publication I work at in a town.

Dave Frank was born in a hospital room five blocks from where he’d live for probably one quarter of the rest of his life. It was a house in Fort Wayne, Indiana, which is a very medium city that has been ranked by respectable magazines as both the dumbest and most overweight town in the United States of America.
Even so, Dave attended Hillsdale College until May 2006 and completed enough research papers to graduate with a bachelor of arts in English. There, he failed only one class and it was intermediate-level Latin. Dave, however, did not retake the class but chose to fulfill his language requirement in a modern romance one. In this intermediate-level class, he read an untranslated novel by Jean-Paul Sartre. This, he correctly suspects, will be the greatest achievement of his life.
Dave lives (outlandishly) in Indiana and lists tomfoolery, manatees and Public Radio as among his interests.
He is also looking for a pet turtle.