Shirts

I saw some Jack Johnson fan at the mall wearing a shirt that said, “I’ll try anything twice.” I thought about going up to him and asking in a sultry voice, “Anything?”
So why are supposedly-ironic-personal-statement novelty t’s considered less passé than, say, a youth pastor with a stud earring? They sucked when kids with droopy-spiked hair wore them and they suck now. All they’ve done is reinvented themselves by spilling sex, beer, and color all over their local Hot Topic retailer. The black and white standoffishh “you’re just jealous that voices talk to me” has become a fitted orange ringer with some creepy uncle pun about bratwurst. Most of these shirts just make me think about the painfully forced laugh I would have to issue if a friend asked me to “check out” a purchase like one of these from Target, Aeropostale, Kohl’s, or American Eagle.
But I guess booze-n-tits-zinger graphic tees are made both more marketable and realistic by the selection of graphic t-shirts in juniors departments. You got three themes:
1.) I’m a whore.
2.) I’m a bitch.
3.) I’m a whore/bitch who likes money.

Do your thing Ms. Independent and show us your shamrocks….hi-five!